We have shirts

WE HAVE A SHIRT.

Dedicated to the dumpling life, then you definitely need this shirt. How else could you ever eat a dumpling again, without wearing one on your chest.*

Black tee coming soon.

https://teespring.com/new-dumpling-life

*very limited edition, only for the die hards

China Star (Vernon, NJ)

I just recently returned from a trip to Montreal, followed by a swing down to Florida, and I know what everyone is thinking "Uh why is this review not international or the very least a Florida Chinese place?" Well, I was way to busy enjoying the snow and then the sun, to even think about any reviews. However, when I was down in Florida, I met some awesome Hawkeyes, who had no clue what a dumpling was, let alone a blog devoted to ranking them existed. After some talk describing these little bites of heaven, once I returned back to NJ, I had to get some.

I have never been to China Star, and it's located pretty close to where I work, so I had to give them ago. The sauce was finally back to my standards after a few lackluster Chinese places. This sauce is one of the better sauces in the area, and believe me I've had almost all of them. But, thats where the positives end. Unfortunately, these dumplings just lacked all flavor which was a major disappointment. I was really looking forward to a nice bite, they looked great, sauce was good, but the dumpling didn't shine. There are much better places in northern NJ. 

Middle of the road dumpling

3 out of 5

Eric 

I'd like to shoutout our new Iowa friends from Fort Myers, this blog is dedicated to you. 

Hopefully, Iowa has some good dumplings. I'm coming for them. 

If there's two things, I know about the midwest is that 1) they have a shit ton of corn and 2) if no one has even heard of a dumpling it could potentially be a dumpling Nirvana out there. Stay tuned to find out.

Sushi Ya (Sparta, NJ)

Sushi Ya isn't my go to sushi spot. That doesn't mean if I'm craving a little late night raw fish, I'm not not going to consider it. When I don't feel like driving to Mt. Arlington, it does the job. That being said I always go gyoza at sushi joints. Need a little land based animal appetizer to warm you up, to  remind you that fish ain't the only star of the show, especially if that pork is wrap in tasty crispy dough.

Gyoza is always a great option because its always crispy and light, Sushi Ya is no exception. They have a great filling, nice and crisp, and a good sauce. All around a quality dumpling, but even a grade A dumpling at a sushi place is still overshadowed. It's like finding the best hamburger in the world at a steakhouse, people will still only care about their porterhouse.

That being said,

3.7 out of 5

Not memorable, but a crucial component of any Sushi Ya meal, and if you're trying for a quick sush meal, its a requirement.

Eric

Ace Eat Serve (Denver, CO)

Ace Eat Serve is not for the wet towel personality. If you don't like dumplings, fun, and balls flying around your face, then this is not the venue for you. There are balls everywhere. White ones, orange ones. The click clack of ping pong paddles reverberates around the large space. If you're into good food and good times, Ace Eat Serve is the place for you.

When my girlfriend and I arrived, we were technically in limbo. We had just come in from Vail, and we had no place to go yet for the next several hours and as we were on our way to live in Hawaii for the next three months, we had enough baggage to make Aaliyah's last flight look light. The staff was awesome, they let us set up and chill, charge our phones, and get down with some of the best dumplings in Colorado.

We ordered three different kinds. The pork and the chicken deep fried in greasy goodness, and the veggie pan fried to perfection . Now I'm a meat eater myself, so the veggie didn't do much for me. But, oh, the chicken and the pork, my god. The dough was thinner than the typical dumpling and since they had deep fried it hard, it was crunchy. Yet it was still moist and delicious. The pork and chicken were both savory, both chopped and minced with garlic and herbs, and hints of ginger. They were like serving five strsight on a noobie. Delicious and something to brag about. But the real treat was their sauces. The soy was a delicious and spicy mixture with herbs aplenty. It had an earthy aftertaste and a medium amount bode well on the dumplings.

Overall, my experience at Ace Eat Serve has been almost unbeaten. The dumplings are worth raving about. Yet, I am still in search of the perfect masterpiece. These puppies deserve nearly a five star rating. You can follow their instagram @ace_eat_serve and check them our if you're ever in Denver.

4.5 out of 5 stars for this Denver hotspot. Til next time my dumpling lovers

Tyuck!

Super No. 1 (Kapa'a, HI)

Ahh, Hawaii. So majestic. Known most for its pristine beaches, beautiful sunsets, and clear waters. But where there is people, there is food. Kauai is the northernmost island of the main Hawaiian island chain, and only 60,000 permanent residents reside here. You can get the fresh ono, ahi, kalua pig, or taro. Or you can seek out the dumplings.

To find them, you'll go to the old town of Kapa'a, to a little plaza across from the shell station, where Super No. 1 keeps food steaming in tin foil baking dishes. They have an assortment of rices, sweet and sour chicken, and veggies. Now let's get down to the reason we're all here today, the dumplings.

First of all, dumplings are not on the menu. You have to ask for them, and they'll either steam or pan fry and of course, if you're a true dumpling connoisseur you'll order pan fried. In Hawaii you should expect to pay about two to three times mainland prices for just about everything. A gallon of milk will run you eight dollars. A loaf of bread will be six. Expect to pay 9 dollars a pound for organic chicken. Getting hosed is the name of the game here. But it comes with all of the aloha you could ever want. At Super No. 1, a plate of eight dumplings cost 4.65, which is a total steal. Gas out here once cost 4.65 a gallon when the rest of the country was buying it for three. So when they told me I could get eight dumplings for 4.65 I would have been a mad man to say no.

The dumplings arrived in a plastic container, which I've grown accustomed to in the dumpling world, but am against in general due to the nonrecyclable waste it produces. So where they had me at 4.65, they lost me at plastic container and plastic forks. The dumplings came out hot and just a little brown. At first glance, they were impressive. They had a good body, full arrangement, and the soy sauce looked packed with herbs and spices. However, the first bite proved that all was too good to be true. The fried garlic in the pork was way overpowering - I might even say the garlic was burnt- and the dough was just a little too thin for my liking. The soy sauce was tasty, but the dumpling had to soak in it to assuage the overpowering garlic. Although the dumplings were a total steal at their price, I give them a safe rating right in the middle.

2.5 out of 5 stars for Super No 1. on Kauai.

Until next time my dumpling loving peeps.

Oh, and follow me on instagram @tyucktyuck where I will begin posting dope dumpling photos along with my other bidness.

Tyuck!

Lotus Garden (James Island, SC)

There are few comforts in life more rewarding than ordering Chinese food straight from your favorite couch. Soon, technology will allow us to beam the food right to our table, but for now delivery will be a close second. My girlfriend and I had a craving for some fried dough and MSG, so we called Lotus Garden right down the road. Despite being close in proximity, the delivery time was upwards of twenty minutes. That we looked past because we were hungry. We had the sweet and sour chicken, the brown rice with veggies, and suchlike.

Now on to the real reason we're all here: the sweet, sweet delicate deliciousness of the dumpling. The first bite was savory, not too sweet, not too salty. The dough to pork ratio was appropriate - still hot, still fresh. We devoured them quickly and without remorse, the stains of soy sauce blotting the table like a Rorschach pattern. Alas, they were gone, and our appetites were hardly satiated -- that is the effect of MSG on the pallet. Despite our ferocious devouring of the dumplings, their rating is now overwhelming. They were good, but not great. Delicious, but not impeccable.

Four stars out of five for Lotus Garden of James Island. Remember, we must reserve five star ratings for the true connoisseurs.

4 out of 5

Tyuck!

Kao Sandwich Shop (Brooklyn, NY)

Brooklyn's Smorgasburg is a weekly food flea market held at the East River State Park in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Every Saturday hundreds of vendors flock to the seven-acre waterfront park in search of that perfect deep-fried oreo, mozzarella-basil pizza, ramen burger, or in our case, the perfect dumpling. It is a constantly evolving search -- our efforts becoming more and more addicting, our standards higher and higher. We are like the cat chasing the laser pointer. We may never find the perfect dumpling. But if we look a little harder and keep our ears to the ground, claws extended, that perfect dumpling may fall into our paws.

The dumplings came from a tent rented by Kao Sandwich Shop. The dumplings came out swiftly and steaming. These dumplings were clearly the work of fine craftsmanship and attention to detail. Each dumpling was wholesome, artfully put together and cooked to perfection. The light sprinkling of cilantro was the perfect touch. They were delicious. And yet, the problem upon serving was their heavy hand in the soy sauce. They might have found more success in keeping the soy light as well, but alas the dumplings found towards the bottom of the bowl were drowning in sodium. If not for that, these may have been a perfect five

4 out of 5 stars

Until next time

Tyuck!